What to Do When Your Partner Withdraws Emotionally

Experiencing a miscarriage can be one of the most heart-wrenching and difficult losses to endure. 

The emotional and physical toll it takes can leave you feeling overwhelmed, isolated, and unsure of how to navigate the healing process. Whether it’s your first pregnancy or not, a miscarriage is a deeply personal and painful experience that can impact your mental and physical health. 

While the experience of grief is unique to every individual, finding ways to cope and heal is essential for emotional recovery.

Miscarriage is, unfortunately, a common occurrence, with studies indicating that up to 15-20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. 

Despite how common it is, the topic often remains taboo, making it harder for those who experience it to talk openly about their feelings or seek support. It’s important to understand that grieving after a miscarriage is normal and necessary. 

Coping with miscarriage requires acknowledging the loss, processing your emotions, and taking steps to heal both emotionally and physically.

In this article, we’ll explore various aspects of coping with miscarriage, including how it affects your emotions, what physical changes to expect, and how to take care of yourself during this time. 

We’ll also address what actions to avoid and where you can find professional help if needed. By understanding these aspects, you can begin to navigate the healing process with compassion and support.

Emotional Feelings After a Miscarriage

Experiencing a miscarriage often triggers a wide range of intense emotions, and these feelings can be difficult to navigate. 

It’s common to feel a deep sense of grief, sadness, and even shock after a miscarriage, as the loss of a pregnancy can bring with it the loss of future hopes and dreams. Many people also experience feelings of guilt, wondering if something they did or didn’t do caused the miscarriage, even though most miscarriages are out of anyone’s control. 

These emotions can be overwhelming and may fluctuate over time, sometimes intensifying when least expected.

In addition to grief and sadness, many women and their partners may feel anger, frustration, or even jealousy when they see others going through successful pregnancies. These emotions are entirely normal and a natural part of the grieving process. 

It’s important to allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment. Suppressing your feelings may prolong your grief and make it harder to cope in the long run. 

Talking openly about your emotions with a trusted friend, partner, or support group can help you process your grief and begin the healing process.

Miscarriage can also bring about feelings of isolation. Because miscarriage is not often discussed openly, you may feel that others don’t understand your pain or know how to support you. 

This sense of isolation can be compounded if you feel societal pressure to “move on” quickly. Remember that everyone processes loss differently, and there is no timeline for grief. 

It’s important to seek out supportive spaces where your emotions are validated, whether through professional counseling, support groups, or conversations with loved ones.

Physical Feelings After a Miscarriage

In addition to the emotional toll, miscarriage has significant physical effects on the body. After a miscarriage, your body may take time to recover from the pregnancy loss, and you may experience various physical symptoms as your body heals. 

Cramping and bleeding are common physical symptoms after a miscarriage, and these can last for several days to weeks, depending on the circumstances. 

Your body may also take time to regulate your menstrual cycle again, which can be distressing for those hoping to conceive again in the future.

Hormonal changes can also contribute to how you feel physically after a miscarriage. Just like after childbirth, your body undergoes hormonal shifts after a miscarriage, which can lead to fatigue, mood swings, and even symptoms of postpartum depression. 

Some women report feeling physically drained or lethargic, while others may experience nausea, breast tenderness, or headaches. These symptoms are typically short-term, but they can add to the emotional burden of coping with a miscarriage.

It’s essential to take care of yourself physically during this time by resting, staying hydrated, and nourishing your body with healthy foods. Give yourself the time and space to heal, and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. 

If you’re concerned about any physical symptoms after your miscarriage, it’s important to consult with your healthcare provider to ensure that you’re healing properly and to address any potential complications, such as infection or incomplete miscarriage.

How to Deal with a Miscarriage

Dealing with a miscarriage is an incredibly personal experience, and there’s no right or wrong way to cope with such a loss. However, there are several strategies that can help you navigate the grieving process and take steps toward healing. 

The first and most important step is to acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself to grieve. Grief can take many forms—whether it’s crying, talking about your loss, or simply spending time reflecting. 

Honoring your grief is an important part of processing the emotions that come with miscarriage. Another key aspect of coping with miscarriage is seeking support. This can come from your partner, family members, friends, or a support group of people who have experienced similar losses. 

Sharing your feelings with others who understand your experience can be incredibly comforting and validating. 

Additionally, professional counseling can provide a safe space to work through your emotions, especially if you’re finding it difficult to cope with the intensity of your grief or if you’re struggling with feelings of guilt or shame.

Finally, practicing self-care is vital when coping with a miscarriage. This means taking care of both your physical and emotional well-being. 

Engaging in activities that bring you comfort, such as taking a walk, journaling, meditating, or simply resting, can help you recharge and cope with your loss. 

Self-care also involves giving yourself permission to take things one day at a time—there’s no rush to “get over” a miscarriage, and healing is a process that unfolds differently for everyone.

What Should You Not Do After a Miscarriage?

While it’s important to focus on healing after a miscarriage, there are also certain things you should avoid in the immediate aftermath. One of the most important things to avoid is self-blame. 

It’s natural to question why the miscarriage happened, but it’s important to remember that most miscarriages are caused by factors beyond your control, such as chromosomal abnormalities. 

Blaming yourself can lead to unnecessary guilt and make the healing process more difficult. Instead, focus on being kind and compassionate to yourself during this challenging time.

It’s also essential to avoid rushing back into your normal routine too quickly. Physical recovery from a miscarriage can take time, and pushing yourself too hard can delay the healing process or exacerbate symptoms.

Allow yourself to take the time you need to rest and recover, and don’t feel pressured to return to work, social activities, or other responsibilities before you’re ready. If you need to take time off, communicate with your employer or loved ones about your needs during this period.

Another thing to avoid is making any major decisions about your future immediately after a miscarriage. 

The emotional and physical toll of the loss can make it difficult to think clearly, and it’s important to give yourself time to process the situation before making decisions about trying to conceive again, pursuing other family-building options, or any other life-changing choices. 

Taking the time to heal emotionally and physically before making decisions can help you approach the future with greater clarity and confidence.

Where to Get Professional Mental Health Help

If you’re struggling to cope with the emotional impact of miscarriage, seeking professional mental health help can be a critical step toward healing. 

Counseling or therapy provides a safe and supportive environment where you can explore your feelings, process your grief, and work through any emotional challenges you may be facing. 

A licensed therapist with experience in pregnancy loss can help you navigate the complexities of grief and provide tools for coping with your emotions.

In addition to individual therapy, support groups for those who have experienced miscarriage can be incredibly beneficial. 

These groups offer the opportunity to connect with others who have gone through similar experiences, providing validation, understanding, and emotional support. 

Many hospitals, clinics, and online platforms offer miscarriage support groups, both in-person and virtual, making it easier to find a community of people who understand your loss.

If you’re not sure where to begin, start by talking to your healthcare provider or OB-GYN, who can recommend mental health professionals or support groups that specialize in pregnancy loss. 

You can also seek help through national organizations that provide support for pregnancy loss, such as the American Pregnancy Association, Pregnancy After Loss Support (PALS), or other local resources. 

Reaching out for help is a sign of strength, and professional support can help you move forward in your healing journey.